Silent Night

For weeks the mom’s have been telling me all about Christmas.  Mama C especially loves Christmas – she loves the lights, the decorations and the wonderful spirit that fills people for the month of December.  We’ve been listening to christmas carols, reading The Grinch, and watching cheesy movies on tv.  There was someone else who loved Christmas very much, my Grandma and we were really really excited about packing up the car and spending the days with all of Mommy’s family at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  Then, last week before I even really understood what was happening, Mama C told me that Grandma had passed away.  She tried to explain that this meant that Grandma went back to heaven but all I knew is that she wouldn’t be around to spend Christmas with me.  This made me really really sad and made everyone else really sad too, especially Mommy, Grandpa and Uncle Jeff.  Something just doesn’t feel right without Grandma around.  She was a pretty amazing woman: she knew exactly how to hold me, she let me make funny faces at her and was never insulted when I was cranky with her.  She and Grandpa spent a lot of time with me in the hospital over the summer and I really got to know how wonderful she was.  She loved coming to hang out with me and didn’t even mind when my g-tube would open up all over her and made her all messy.  She even learned to bring a change of clothes when we were going to hang out because I always seemed to leak all over her.  I think it was a sign that she loved me very much.

So, now it’s Christmas and we’re all here in her house, remembering how much she loved this time and how much she loved all of us.  It’s hard because we’re sad and we miss her a lot already, but we’re trying to put on our brave faces because we know how much she loved the holiday and how excited she was to have us all here together.  So, for the next few days we’ll be keeping her in our minds and remembering how to keep her in our hearts all year long.  We love you Grandma.

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